She blushed and squirmed away from my touch. ‘Sexy thoughts. Different stuff. I don’t know. Things I haven’t thought about since I was a teenager. It’s just weird.’ ‘Do you not like it?’ ‘No! It’s awesome. We haven’t been like this since we first got together. I’m excited every time I see you. I’m, like, aware of myself in this new way. And the sex has just been incredible–even you’re different. It’s like you know what I’ve always wanted. Don’t things seem different to you?’ I thought about how I should answer this. Sometimes having the subconscious dragged into the conscious mind undoes all of the work. I didn’t want to do that, but I also didn’t want any part of Stephanie being unhappy. ‘They are different, but they’re also better. Maybe that ‘sexual peak’ that people always talk about is arriving for you. You’ve lost some weight–I’ve never seen you look better. Maybe you’re feeling sexy and acting like it.’ I reached across the table and held her hand. I ran my fingers across her. In any case, these days I wasn't interested in one night stands with young girls, although I still looked and mentally undressed them but Mabel often chided me for that when she was alive. Outside the classrooms and laboratories, I had little to do with the rest of the class although we were on friendly terms and I was often drawn into the discussions when it related to the coursework but not when it concerned social affairs. Living at home some ten miles away from the campus also kept me away from most of the evening events the others attended.The first term went well but shortly after the Christmas break I noticed Vanessa was missing from our classes. "She went to a wild pre-Christmas party and got herself pregnant and decided on an abortion. The doctors ballsed that up and she ended up in hospital with some infection and eventually they had to do a hysterectomy," Tracie, one of the girls who was a close friend to her, informed me."What a great shame," I thought, "She was doing.
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